Chapter I: The Waiting of Departure

As of now when I sat in front of my screen I thought over my mind, how would I chronicle the days after I left my homeland? Pictures will not be enough as I could only do so much of an explanation. Thus I have decided to start another written tale after putting it to a halt for so many years. The heading Ossirian Halls is chosen for the reason of being the central part of all my stories.

Back to the tale. As I type, the seconds ticked closer and closer to the time of my departure, which is 9.00 the following day, which is to say, 15 hours left and decreasing as I write. I used to think that it will be a situation that will not befall me for a very long time.

Yet, I am proven wrong. Now here I am, awaiting the time when I will be leaving my home, my abode and most importantly, everything which and whom I have endeared. The feelings contained within me are complex enough to warrant an explanation for each one of them.

Excited: I believe that it is true for everyone who is about to study overseas, and I am not an exception either. Feeling the prospect of embracing the unknown lands and opportunities awaiting on the other side, one would feel the excitement coming towards you, driving you to reach there as soon as you can.

Anxious: Not knowing what will be in store for you obviously is a good reason for one to be anxious. Anxiety and excitement come hand-in-hand as you worry when you get overexcited. I certainly do not think I can fall asleep well tonight knowing that the next dawn will be the time I leave the house.

Grief: Or rather, by using your language, emo. I felt that since days ago, as I thought I had to leave everything behind as I leave. It will be years before I see them again, my family, my relatives, the Order of the Five and those whom I endeared. In fact, I tried hard not to reveal it to anyone else, as I chose to mask my true emotions in order not to bring them to feel the same. For a few moments I nearly cried, yet I held strong. The feeling I have now is much like how the lead character felt in the beginning of the animation Spirited Away.

When so many emotions intersect at one point of the heart, it became a struggle for me to hold myself strong. I do not know whether I will break down or otherwise but I know I must endure in order for me to get to the other end of the tunnel. It will be painful, leaving everything behind, but such sacrifices are necessary.

For long I have survived many struggles that occurred inside me. From applications, obtaining visa and all necessary matters, I have endured and survived. Now I face the final stage - the clash of feelings before leaving. It is not a physical foe where you know what to do with it, for it is conceived from the thoughts in your heart which yearns you to stay behind.

I do not know how I have fared myself so far, the two sides of mine showed different views to the matter. While the light in me showed readiness in embracing the incoming departure, my inner darkness feared it. I am glad to say though, that the light is prevailing for the time being and I feel ready.

As much as I yearned to delay my departure, I know I have to face it and move myself eventually. Thus, no point in delaying the inevitable, you might as well go into it and experience the unknowns hidden within.

Before I end, I must tell you that this will be my last post before I leave the country. Any tales narrated hereafter shall be told from the other side. I thank you for all the prayers and blessings which you have given, and with them I believe I will stay strong to see myself at the other side of the globe. You shall be informed when I arrive there!

You must pay the price if you wish to secure the blessing. - Andrew Jackson

I await... -- the Archknight, January 2, 2012.